My Zenith and Nadir
By Mervi Curie Mape
I got a friend who got this fanaticism over “STORM”, that X-MEN movie character with the power of controlling the weather. I can not completely comprehend to his reasons behind, maybe because I both love the rain and the sunbeams. I just can not grasps why, until it came to a point in my life that I wanted to control time…but that is yet another story.
If my life is a sea-faring vessel, I am the captain who plans its course; if it is a book, I am its author who fills each page; I am the one who is behind my life’s zenith and nadir…or so I thought I am. I found myself weary, tired, my dreams are vague and I am at the brink of giving up my battles.
But before I mix up my metaphors badly, let me direct you to what I really want to convey.
I once read an article about the people of the Negev dessert in Israel – the Bedouins. The dessert that they inhabit has very extreme temperatures. They are being exposed to 4°C in January and 39°C heat in August. The lands are not good enough for vegetation which makes them move from one lace to another in grazing their animals. The article gave emphasis on how the Bedouins live a simple and easy life. They have no clock to remind them of the time ticking away. It is nature which tells them when to begin working and when to take their rest. And all their days are spent tending flocks. Despite of the kind of environment that they have, they live long and seldom get sick.
There was never a piece of my life on that article. The Bedouin’s life is a complete opposite of the life I have.
I did wish to be like the Bedouins. Their life revolves on few little things. I’m quite sure that they do not have the desire to have a command over the weather and neither the desire to control the passing of time in each day. And I guess that they never have these tangled-up priorities in life like the ones I have. Oh, I don’t even know what life is really all about or if I have life after all. So I set my gears up and decided to “grab a life,” never thinking I do not really know where I am heading to.
You are right to say that I am not a good captain after all, not even a better author at that. When I made my first step to grab some life, JESUS did not just grabbed me but He snatched me back (and later learned that I was ransomed by His precious blood). And then, I completely saw who and what I am missing in life. And I never envied the Bedouins after all.
James Patterson in his “Sam’s Letters to Jennifer,” had captured my thoughts. It said that “…living life was like putting the beach into a jar. The point wasn’t to fit everything in it; it was to attend to the most important things first – the big, beautiful rocks – the most valuable people and experiences – and fit the lesser things in around them. Otherwise, the best things might get left out”
I’ve been missing the wonderful gift of God named JESUS. When I became a Christian, it is only then that I understood that JESUS’ existence in my life back then is vague – He being the most important person in every human being’s walk on earth. And without Him, I missed the most beautiful experience I could ever have for about 20 years – the personal and intimate relationship that I have with Him each day.
“…seek the Lord our God, you will find Him if you will look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29
The task is not like searching for a single grain of gold at the Negev dessert. God’s love, His promises, his miracles…are more beautiful than any dessert… more wonderful than life itself.
Each day that unfolds and each choice that I make, God is telling me and teaching me to trust Him – to offer to him my loaves and fishes. In His gentle ways, He is patiently working in me that I may lift up to Him my fears, my worries, my anxieties; the uncertainties of the future ahead, the questions in my heart, the doubts on my mind; the happiness I find, the love I share, the hope I cradle and my joy in Him.
Someone who truly loves me is leading my life, and I am just too happy to trust and oblige…to trust and obey. And I know that He is faithful. I was never bound to be alone, never bound to man my own ship (which I never really own), never bound to write the journals of my life all by myself. After all, my battles are also His battles…and the more it is His, the more that it is mine. He had promised me His presence in my life…FOREVER.
And why I do not envy the Bedouins? It is because I am not sure if they pray first before calling each day a working day, if they have their quite times with God, if they read their Bible and meditate on God’s Word and if they have this awesome relationship with Him.
I bet they know that “what makes a dessert beautiful is that, somewhere it hides a well.” But, do they also know that what makes life beautiful is that God never hides from us nor he ever abandoned us?
And from now on, He will be with me in my zenith and nadir.
My words are never sufficient… yet my heart knows, my soul is filled with joy.
